rambling

  • it really scares me how bad i can be at personal relationships and how  fast i can become emotionally unattached to someone. i mostly develop relationships where ppl confide in me but i share only the bare minimum. in the end im the one losing out and its my own fault and that succs but ohhhh well. whatcha gonna do?
  •  half of me is certain of my future success. the other half is sure that im destned to be a failure. i get really bad anxiety when i try to plan my future. im only twenty but the way this time thing has been in a rush these last few years smh theres none to waste. i feel like school-work-die formula was created by masochists and tbh im  not about that life.  i just need to figure out a way to make money in a way that suits the enjoyment lifestyle i see for myself.. nbd.
  • i should really clean my room and take my iron pills more consistently. thank God for other methods of birth control cause me on the pill would be a joke. not that i even need birth control seeing as God has decided to remove the distractions that are men from my life… even though i didnt ask for all that, but she knows best right? although, it could also be a result of being ugly.
    sike.
    its cause im weird af and not nice to the men that approach me.
  • do i even want the headache of a situa/relationship? men are tiresome. also i read that the sex life of women is best in their 40s soooo why not just wait.
  • ANYWAYSSSSSSS, apparently im severely anemic which is super cool cause i have a shitty diet and that means ill probably get headaches from being iron deficient for the rest of my life if i dont start eating spinach. joy!!!!
  • next year has to be different or ill actually go mad.
  • fuckkkkkkkk  i just need to get my life together man. im tired of stressing. im tired of wondering how/if things work out. i just want to be allowed to live without all this weight on my shoulders. and having ur parents who think the world still operated like in 1992 add to the stress is….. beyond frustrating. it would be nice if things just resolved themselves now so i could skip these little mental breakdowns and move right into the lounged and drinking cocktails stage but life is a bastard.
  • so many things  and issues and im just really tired and over this whole moving towards an adult life thing that currently happening. life is a blessing but these terms and conditions are looking seriously shitty and i feel like ive been conned.
  • ok im done
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